45 in the rear-view mirror

With a carload full of kids and lots of laughter from the backseat, it suddenly dawned on me that I’d not seen a speed limit sign for some time. But the divided highway had been 65 mph for miles and still had the feel of a 65 or 70 mph drive — the four-lanes stretched in both directions as far as I could see, and we passed only an occasional pick-up truck headed to some rural destination.

As I rounded a curve in the road, his car was there (waiting?), lights instantly flashing, turning around in the median to pull me over. I didn’t see the new speed limit sign until I’d stopped and fumbled for my license. Then I looked in my rear-view mirror. There it was — right at the point I’d rounded the curve — clear as day — 45.

I felt had.

Later, I heard from others who travel that route, that yes, I was had. Everyone (but me) seemed to know that the area was a speed trap. I felt offended and abused by the system. I was mad at Siri that she hadn’t sent me a different route. I felt wrongly accused. I was set up! The injustice! How dare they lay a trap for me.

No mercy decisions

The officer was kind and gentlemanly, almost rehearsed in his expectation that I would be defensive and belligerent. I wasn’t. I was just shocked. I was honestly confused and startled when he pulled me over. I actually felt sorry for the deputy, as he was nervous at my teary eyes when I asked for mercy. “I’m sorry, ma’am,” he said. He wasn’t allowed to make road-side mercy-decisions.

I know the sermon illustration about my still owing the debt for my penalty, even if I didn’t know the correct speed. I know I was caught super-speeding and I owe that municipality money, even if I claim I didn’t have time to see the new speed limit sign. I understand all that, but I’m still trying to give a name to the anger I felt at the injustice of being set up at their speed trap.

I somehow deserved better.

With the blink of an eye

And then I think of Jesus, who truly was wrongly accused and set up and abused. Jesus, who not only taught His disciples to turn the other cheek (Mt. 5:38-39), but offered Himself to be spit upon and struck by vengeful creatures He Himself had created (Mk. 14:65, 15:16-20). Jesus, who could have obliterated them all with a word — who not only taught His disciples the ways of His kingdom, but then demonstrated in ways I read of with astonishment. He stood silent before His accusers, offering Himself as a lamb led to slaughter (Is. 53:7).

He didn’t say “do as I say” and then not do as He said.

We know when Jesus teaches about turning the other cheek that He’s not banning the use of force by government, or self-defense against a serious personal assault, or even fleeing to avoid harm.  He speaks, rather, of our heart’s desire for personal revenge when insulted (as in the insult of a back-handed slap against the cheek in the Mt. 5 teaching). He speaks of our need to trust God when unjustly treated, trusting that He makes all things right (Rom. 12:19).

Jesus allowed the Sanhedrin to spit on Him, and the guards to beat Him, and the soldiers to mock and strike Him, when with the blink of an eye He could have destroyed them all. He had done no wrong, yet He allowed them to set Him up, to “trap” Him, so that he could pay for those who had done wrong. He endured the mocking and then death on the cross, despising the shame of it all, that His bride might be cleansed and presented in glory as perfect and pure and spotless (Heb. 12:2, Eph. 5:25-27).

He wanted to pay my eternal debt.

Something so very different

Though I know I was technically wrong, it’s still hard for me to shake the angry feeling that I was set up. I want that municipality to come clean. I want them to admit that I was set up at their speed trap because they wanted to gain from my bank account. And because I recognize within myself the desire for, not necessarily vengeance, but certainly vindication, I love Jesus more.

Jesus didn’t require the Sanhedrin or Pilate to admit that they were setting Him up for their own gain. He didn’t call down His legions of angels to do any vengeful bidding. He didn’t even ask for vindication. He did something quite different.  He freely gave His life for me.

I love Jesus more because He didn’t smash His false accusers: instead, He allowed Himself to be led to slaughter for a reason I cannot comprehend — to pay with His life the debt He did not owe to free me from the debt I do.



About Jill

I'm a wife, mom to three beautiful children, and currently work at two jobs for which I'm very grateful -- part-time at my kids' school, and as children's ministry director at Redeemer PCA in Athens, GA, a place our family treasures as our church home. It's been thirty years since the Lord saved me, and to this day I'm astounded at His steadfast love shed upon unfaithful me. My hope would be that I might speak and write in ways God would use to soften hearts toward Him, that we would together be enamored by the glorious beauty of Jesus and awakened to His love unimagined. Thanks so much for reading!
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2 Responses to 45 in the rear-view mirror

  1. Pingback: pre-schooler choices, grown-up lessons and blankets of love | Even More Beautiful

  2. Pingback: anger and its hidden, unexpected purposes | Even More Beautiful

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